My World has come to a crushing halt: Britney Spears has tried to hang herself.
“She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt.” But within days out-of-control Britney had swung from suicidal to matrimonial as she told hubby Kevin Federline she wanted to take him back, renew their wedding vows and get pregnant.”
And is it wrong to admit that I’m not sure whats worse…wanting Federlove back, or hanging herself…I just don’t have an answer right now.
So I guess going to rehab is like the same thing as admitting yourself into an insane asylum, because it appears that the little Britster has officially lost it.
And it pains me to say this, but someone needs to get her some serious medication. Tom Cruise and his life partner Science would disagree with the above statement, but I think the girl has a serious case of post-partum depression. No matter how many couches Tom Cruise plans to jump on, I’d like to point out that Rick James says “f*ck yo couch!”, and get the girl on some meds before she throws herself off the side of a building. Even worse, this might just be phase one in what appears to be a grand and orchestrated attempt at taking the lead from one infamous, and extremely DEAD Anna Nicole Smith, by perhaps consuming waaaaay too much methadone for a horse as a means of ball-busting whatever crack, coke, or heroin addiction she has acquired as a result of spending too much time with the likes of the Paris Hilton plastic party, and her food-challenged, rock snorting friends, that ought to be sterilized before they enlist any more baby’s mamas as members of their whoregisbord buffet cult.
Seriously, I worry for her very wellbeing. I just want to give her a hug and tell her everything is going to be okay.
I’m begging some one with a brain for an intervention, and fast. I’m so desperate I’d almost call Oprah, but then I think about having to listen to her speak, and now I’m about to throw myself off a building.
lilroxy said,
March 5, 2007 at 9:02 pm
The whole Britney Spears situation is pretty crazy. Everyone seems to be talking about her lately. As I was flipping through the channels today I stumbled across Dr. Phil and even he was talking about her! It seems like her behavior is either a means of crying out for help, or a huge publicity stunt. I mean, going to a salon to shave your head… why wouldn’t she just do it herself at home. I do feel bad for her though. It would suck being constantly hassled by the paparazzi, and having your worst moments caught on camera for all to see and discuss.
sequel said,
March 6, 2007 at 4:23 pm
First your blogs are so amusing. I really enjoy reading your posts, especially this one. I laughed through the entire thing. It was hilarious, clever and quick witted. I loved it! Thanx for the pick-me-up! Also thanx for th Britney scandal update, I had no idea she had attempted suicide! Craziness. I really feel bad for her.
salena said,
March 7, 2007 at 1:26 am
I had no idea she attempted suicide. I watched the first 5 mintues of dr. phil talk about how she’s crying out for help before I shut the TV off and decided I had heard enough out of him this week. The thing that really gets me is that if she was going to shave her head why didn’t she donate the hair to cancer. I would love to do something like that, but I’m worried about how long it’ll take to grow back. I agree, I think she is trying to pull an anna nicole smith. Funny blog, I especially liked the part about tom cruise and his life partner!
degudebate said,
March 7, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Hehehe, my guilty pleasure has always been Britney Spears… so it is nice to see someone else having the gumpsion to post about her. Aside from the going crazy I really liked that she shaved her head, I think it stripped her of femininity in some ways and made her more real than the commodified female we so love to watch and comment on.
I didn’t hear about the hanging either – are you sure she didn’t hang herself b/c she wanted K-Fed back??? that is really the obvious and logical explanation. I totally agree with lilroxy about how bad it would suck to have the paparazzi there all the time catching these moments, but maybe that is why she has been going off the deep-end, I know I couldn’t handle it. Thanks again for the post.
turtle23 said,
March 7, 2007 at 2:13 pm
britney spears is off her rocket, sorry bathroom babe!
it appears this is not just post-pardum deppression, this my friend is craziness!
free Falling said,
March 7, 2007 at 3:03 pm
I cannot comprehend how people can spiral out of control like the example of Brittany. It frustrates me because they have more money than I will ever have and yet they let their lives go to shit because they don’t have any self-control. I don’t understand how their life and the world around these stars can look so distorted.
roch22 said,
March 10, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I just want to say that I love reading your blogs…you have a real talent. I am so sad for Britney and the fact that those two little boys are so lost in the shuffle now. I can safely say that I would never want to be famous because of what she is going through, as have many before her. I enjoy how you mix humour into the disaster that is her life, yet at the same time I feel you are sympathetic to it all. It just goes to show that money and fame do not always bring success.
iliketomakelists said,
March 13, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Yes it’s sad. I’m not worried about her, or her pathetic excuse for a husband, I’m worried about her kids. Why would you bring two miracles into the world only to screw yourself up enough to want to kill yourself. She was rarely ever seen with her sons, and when she was she was practically dropping them on the street, or driving with them out of carseat. Why are people like this allowed to reproduce?
And why do we care so much that this is happening to her? I’m sure that there are thousands of crack mommas with a dire need for rehab… but we don’t sympathise or judge them.
Whatever Britney’s reasons are, post-partum or addiction, or just plain insanity, she has two little boys to think about … and quite frankly, in her condition, it would almost be better if she didn’t exist to them. The nanny seems to being a mighty fine job of being a mother.